It’s easy to feel like everything is falling apart.
Let’s consider a scenario: You wake up one morning and realize your alarm didn’t go off when it should have. Maybe it’s broken, or maybe you just snoozed it like you always do… who can know for sure? That doesn’t matter now, though, since work starts in 30 minutes, and there’s no way you’ll make it in time while still doing your morning routine.
You rush to get ready. Maybe you forget something here and there; you’re certainly not feeling well-rested, and nothing feels quite right. You leave your home and check how long it’ll take to get to work. You see that the train you always take is delayed and now runs only every 20 minutes. You think driving might be better, but the road you usually take is bumper-to-bumper traffic.
You stand for a moment, wondering how you always end up in this situation, and go to tell your boss that, yet again, you’ll be late for work this month.
“My boss is going to fire me.”
“If only I could get out of bed.”
“If only I planned better for the traffic.”
“I’m such a bad planner.”
“I’m so dumb.”
“Why can’t I do anything right?”
These thoughts might pop into your mind and follow you throughout the day, reinforcing themselves with every little thing that bothers you. And the worst part is… not a single person you vent to really seems to get it, offering lackluster advice (if any at all) and never truly hearing you.
Suddenly, you take a good look at your life and wonder, “When did everything get so hard?”
This is a paralyzing thought because you’re forced to grapple with inadequacies you may not have considered before. It’s hard, but why? The truth is that, in most circumstances, the “why” involves you. It starts with your decisions and their consequences, along with how you respond emotionally, physically, and mentally to them.
Sometimes it’s easy to get stuck in a rut and fall flat. Whether it’s a goal that hasn’t manifested the way you hoped, a relationship that took a turn for the worse, or the countless challenges that fill your day-to-day life, it can all feel like a never-ending struggle.
Things change. People change. The world keeps spinning, even when your world seems to stop or slow down. You may find it overwhelming to take your first step into the turbulent landscape we all face—and give up on or lash out at what you can’t control.
But does it have to be that way?
Perhaps the day that everything falls apart can also be the day you slow down and truly take in the constantly moving world around you. You can certainly point to the problems, but more happened that day than just waking up late and getting stuck in traffic. Maybe you had an interesting conversation, shared a laugh with a friend, or made progress on a project that had been falling by the wayside. Little pockets of interest, positive emotion and productivity can lurk in every corner.
Some people have a tendency to stay positive and level headed no matter what happens in their life. No matter the conflict. No matter how many things are going wrong at the moment. Things that can easily overwhelm the “average” person do not seem to phase them, and may even motivate them. It can almost seem like that person has figured something out that most haven't or maybe that it's all a facade for someone who just doesn't care about anything. Perhaps it's something deeper and more fundamental to how they approach situations. They may practice an approach, whether they are aware of it or not, that gives them resilience to the day to day stress that plagues several others.
Just like bad things, good things can add up too. What matters is whether you’re willing to open your eyes and notice them or whether you’re willing to change how your experiences, both good and bad, shape your worldview. The overwhelming assault on your senses from a turbulent day may have a different impact than you expected. The world that seemed to stop can start moving again with a shift in perspective.
Even if everything truly went wrong that day, if the frustrations didn’t end after work, It can still leave room for reflection. You can assess what brought you to that point and how to redirect yourself. You can find the path of least resistance—and the resolve to take it can transform how you live your daily life.
What I hope to achieve with this blog is simple but with some asterisks attached. I want a reason to do more research, share my opinions, inform, and inspire (with credible sources). I want to build a base of knowledge from the ground up.
Where do negative emotions come from?
How are they triggered?
How do my thoughts influence my emotions?
How do my thoughts and emotions affect my behavior?
How can I think differently about the things I can’t control?
Is it really possible to reframe events that have objectively made my life worse?
Exploring the complex dynamics between a person’s mental health, emotional health, and environment is something I hope to achieve. My goal is to provide insight and foster hope for those who want to feel better about themselves and work on breaking negative cycles as they move through life.
Now, consider the scenario again. What went wrong? What future consequences might arise from that person’s thoughts after getting to work? From an outside perspective, it may be easy to answer. But why is it so much easier to be objective about someone else’s life—while even simpler issues become difficult to process when they happen to you?
The mind works in very mysterious ways. Some things are well understood, like where your five senses signal from and how they interact to produce a sensation. But how those senses build an environment that is constantly being recontextualized by an individual's experience can be a bit more vague.
Long story short, what makes the human mind tick? How does your perspective on your experiences affect how you act and feel about your life? How can negative perspectives lead to a worse outlook on your life? Most importantly, what tools can you develop to work through this type of thinking to help you achieve greater control over yourself when your life may feel out of control.